As I stare at the lights dancing on my Christmas tree I find myself recalling the memories of how I spent Christmas in the past. I can't quite put my finger on it, but Christmas just isn't or it doesn't seem to be what it used to be... I would have to admit that my currentt economic situation probably has a little to do with why I feel the way that I feel, but I really believe that it goes a little deeper than I realize.
Yeah, I got the things that I wanted... the new 12x12 Cricut (for all you scrappers) and a new digi camera (still trying to figure out how to use it), but even when I opened those gifts... as badly as I wanted them and as much as I appreciated them, they did not even compare to what I missed the most... the "Spirit of Christmas."
I remember when I was a little girl, I knew that Christmas was near because I could just feel it in the air. Now that I am a little older and much more mature, I realize that it did not just get there... someone had to put it there. Whether it was the little children preparing for the Christmas play at church, or the kids in community caroling for the elders, or the neighbors bringing each other there speciality dish or the man who stood on the corner in the streets of downtown Greenville wishing everyone a Merry Christmas... No matter how big or small... everyone played a stellar role in releasing the spirit of Christmas in the atmosphere.
I miss it... I miss listening to Christmas music and decorating the Christmas tree while humming the words to my favorite Christmas tune... I miss it... I miss sitting back and admiring the beauty of the tree once it had been completed... I miss it... I miss going back to my old neighborhood and sitting and talking to my elders about our favorites memories that we'd shared... I miss it... I miss being in the kitchen with my mom and cutting celery for the dressing.... I miss it... I miss my Aunt Betty getting in her car and driving from house to house doing a "taste test" each of her sisters dressing before dinner.... I miss it... I miss wrapping gifts all night because my mother waited until the last minute....... I miss it... I miss it all... I miss the warmth... I miss the love... I miss the joy... I miss the Spirit of Christmas...
As I sit here staring at the "must-haves" for this year's Christmas list that I selfishly composed... all that I can think is that I missed it... I missed the opportunity to release the "Spirit of Christmas" that resides on the inside of me all year long...
Forgive me... Forgive me.... I will never allow any situation or circumstance to rob me of the joy that lies within and sharing it with others.
May your life be filled with prosperity, peace, love, hope, and joy! I love you with the love of God....
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